Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
