She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize