i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
