I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
