He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
