apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
