She's JV to your varsity
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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