I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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