dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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