Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
