During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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