Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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