Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
