btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
