god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize