there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
