please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
