Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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