i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
