HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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