she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
