were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
