What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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