found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
