But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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