Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
