what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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