I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
