Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
