hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
