At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
smell my finger.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Houston, we have a squirter
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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