This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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