Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
