why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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