There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
