Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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