Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
and you fell through a lawn chair
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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