don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
