Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize