god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
