meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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