The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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