awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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