i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
