I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
