how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
