32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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