i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
