i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
