For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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