Your favorite bartender is back from prision
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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