maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this just has baby written all over it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
