I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
