I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
