i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
