so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
