I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
