I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
