would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Jerry, you need to find god
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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