Say something about gay babies.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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